Joy Alison Paris. Born on June 10th, 2008. I was a papa. It was only a week later that I got to experience my first father’s day as a father myself.

I’ll have to admit that I was worried before Joy was born. Everyone said that everything changes when you have a child of your own. I have never been a person that gets close to others. When Joy was born, I waited for that magic moment where everything changes, but it didn’t happen. She was a wonderful girl, the cutest baby ever, but I didn’t really feel connected to her. It didn’t really feel real. I think that I did a good job with her. I was good at calming her down, rocking her, and I even have an award that says that I am the best baby picker upper (and putter downer) with out fussing’er ever. So that can’t be too bad. At the same time it was Virginia who was doing so well. She was so in love with her and just connected so quickly. I am so happy that Joy was able to have all that love around her when she was so young.

I kept up with doing some of the baby work (most done by Virginia), and even tried (and failed) at getting Joy to drink from a bottle. I wound up getting a job overseas, so I wasn’t going to be around Joy for a few years, so I was OK with how I was feeling. I wasn’t really bonded with her, so I probably wouldn’t miss her very much while I was gone. My departure got delayed a little while I was waiting for my visa to get processed, and I don’t know how it happened, but some where in that last month when I was home, it clicked. I just fell in love with that kid. Maybe it was that she was starting to smile at me, maybe I always loved her but was just a little slow to figure it out, or maybe god is just funny like that, but I genuinely fell in love with Joy. I have never felt this way about any other person in my whole life. My heart is filled with happiness whenever I think about her. Can’t really describe it. It is amazing, wonderful, awe inspiring, joy. Probably not the best of timing since I left just a couple of weeks later, but I am so glad that it happened before I left. I feel love more than I ever have before. I really miss her, but Virginia has been doing a very good job of sending me photos, and I can hear her in the background of our phone conversations. She seems like she is doing so well, and is such a happy baby. I am happy that Virginia is taking care of her so well, and even though I am not around, I am glad that I am doing some part in making that possible.

For Joy: I love you so much. I am glad that you are a part of my life. You have brought a lot of joy to a lot of people in 2008, and I am lucky to be one of them. I look forward to seeing how you grow up: little girl, big girl, youngster, teenager, school, family, unlimited possibilities. I hope your life is filled with happiness, creativity, learning, and laughter; I hope you learn to dance and play and sing and write and dream; I hope you are always surrounded by good friends, good family, good food, good drink, and fun times; I hope your inner spirit brings positive energy to those around you; and most importantly, I hope that you get to experience the same kind of love that I feel for you right now.